


World Abandoned

by tactfiction



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, M/M, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:40:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10558134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tactfiction/pseuds/tactfiction
Summary: Seven months, and Eren can't forget what life was like before everything went to shit. Can't forget his mother waking him up in the morning, going to school with his friends, having constant anxiety over homework. It seems so futile now, so worthless.Seven months, and Eren can feel the regret when he lost Armin.---All rights go to Hajime Isayama and other affiliates of the Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan franchise. Author does not claim any rights to characters, settings, or other trademarks of the franchise. Author owns only the plot and story of 'World Abandoned.'





	1. Chapter 1

Shit, shit. I'm clawing at my wrist in protest. God, the blood is everywhere. I'm going to drop dead in a few minutes. This is it. Fucking cut it off, Mikasa! She's standing behind me, silver irises hidden by dilated pupils. Shock. She can't move. Take the fucking axe, and chop my arm off. She doesn't even inch towards me. 

I can't decide if her actions are fueled by anger or fear or the dreadful assumption that I'm going to be trying to kill her in just under an hour, but the only thing she does in the five minutes she's standing there, eyes fixated on my bite, is breathe. 

And then she's gone. 

I try to run after her, but her agility would outweigh a thousand Olympic runners and Christ, my wrist is leaking fluids I didn't know I had in me and I'm growing weaker by the second. Is this what it's like to die? I can only hear the silence as it encapsulates me. I sink to my knees, releasing my tattered arm from my own grip. No, Eren. I can't become one of those things. I'm better than that. Stronger. 

Fuck, what am I thinking? I'm crouched down in the middle of the goddamn woods with a bite wound and a now-missing sister and an empty stomach. My dumbass doesn't stand an angel's chance in Hell.

I sit here, wallowing in my own self-pity. I was stupid enough to get bit; do I even deserve life anymore? It's kill or be killed out here, and for some reason I feel like I'm on the latter end of that spectrum in every circumstance. 

Especially when my wrist is seeing red and I can't feel it any longer. 

Well, there goes my sense of touch. What comes next as the killing thing fries my brain? Taste? Sight? Hearing? Smell?

Nope - definitely not smell. The air is still putrid, the stench of rotting flesh not exactly welcoming after my realization that oh shit, I'm going to be a part of that soon. It's as if my nose has been given a superpower, like it wants to sniff out my impending doom. And it's doing a damn good job. 

I thought I wanted to die out here. There isn't much to live for, not after Mikasa just ran off, and God knows where Armin is. The coconut got his ass separated from us a month ago. I can probably assume he's dead. Even if his survival tactics are golden, I know he'd have a tough time actually enacting them, because he's about as strong as a snail pulling a boulder and he would never, not to save his life, pull the trigger of a gun. He's all 'moral' and shit, thinks that maybe, if he lives his life without sin, that he might be saved when he dies. And it's not a bad viewpoint by any means, but there's some things you have to do to make sure you stay alive. And one of those things comes in the form of a clicked hammer and a golden bullet, because if you don't headshot that goddamned zombie is going to turn you. 

Shit, Eren. Maybe you should take your own advice for once. Heh, yeah. I probably should've. But that's in the past, isn't it? Everything is, after some point. And if I regret anything in the past ten minutes, it sure as hell isn't getting bit. 

This world is so fucking cruel. Whatever power this divine entity has over us, whatever game he's playing, he's laughing on his little throne in the sky. Laughing at me, Eren Jaeger, for being a dumbass in an apocalypse. Laughing at his creations as they tear each other to shreds, human and inhuman. Laughing at this world, this cruel, desolate, unforgiving world. And if I somehow make it to Heaven, somehow get to meet him, I hope the axe in my belt is still there, because I will shove it through his skull without a second thought. It might not kill him - hell, he might be invincible - but it's what he gets for royally screwing this world over. 

A world without mercy.

A world without hope. 

A world abandoned. 

And I slip into darkness, praying to that divine entity to let me give him the ol' what-for.

(4/6/17)


	2. One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we are pulled quickly between joy and dread and sometimes we cannot tell which is which.

My eyes are heavy. I really don't want to open them. Am I dead? Probably. This is purgatory, this emptiness. I'm alone, some feeling of wind whipping through my hair and the faint growl of walkers off in the far distance. Okay, I knew I was going to die, and I didn't know what I expected from people that turn, but... it sure wasn't this. I'm trapped inside my own body, blind and motionless.

God, I'm going to have to live my life listening to myself either get shot or turn other people. I'm almost hoping the former happens; I really don't want to live through this. Thanks, divine entity, you've managed to fuck up my life once again.

Except... my wrist still hurts like a bitch. I can feel that, feel clotted blood welling up at the teeth marks that threaten to push further into my veins. I can't exactly feel it, but my consciousness can sense its presence.

I have to open my eyes.

There's no way I would've been able to tell my eyelids to force their way open if not for the fact that I really want to know what walkers see, why they do what they do. It's hauntingly experimental, to say the least. I feel like some sort of twisted scientist. I'm a test subject at best. And as I open my eyes, finally pull myself from this bloodied state of unconsciousness, I shift into one of utter confusion. 

Because, I'm not a walker. Opening my eyes by my own accord is proof enough, not to mention the fact that I can still tell myself to breathe. I'm not dead. The worlds are a mantra in my head. I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Shit, I'm not even undead. That's what I was expecting to be, but that sonofabitch divine entity decided to throw me another curveball. 

I lift my head to look down at my left wrist, and the thing, the bite, though bloody and purple, is not as bad as it was before. Sure, there's a circle of black grass under my arm and by this point the wound is probably beyond infected, but... I'm not dead. And I'm not a walker. I can't tell if this is a good thing or not. I mean, on one hand, I'm not dead. But then, do I really want to be alive?

My conscience decides he wants to fuck me over yet again, as my thoughts drift to Mikasa. Where is she? Hell if I know. She bolted as soon as she saw I was bit. I know she came this way, but... no. Don't treat your brother as if you're scared. Don't be a fucking coward, Mikasa. If you had to run, your childish choice will cost you whatever the hell it wants to. Have a great fucking time. 

The low groans of walkers are gaining on me. I can't be too careful. Maybe I just haven't turned yet. After all, I don't know how long I was out, but the longest confirmed turning time was a day. And I know it hasn't been a day, considering the sun is beaming at me with all its happy fucking glee.

My pistol is still back at the cabin, and all I have at the moment is a bloodied hand axe that would move too slowly to survive a horde. Might as well try to survive while I'm given the chance, right? I make my choice in this moment, covered in dirt and morning dew and the burning of my wrist against the ground. 

I need to get back to that cabin. 

One-armed, I push myself off the ground. My wrist hurts like a bitch without any pressure on it, and I silently pray that whatever undead piece of shit decided to make me one of his own, he at least cut through my nerves. Because I can't deal with pain like this forever, if forever is even an option.

I dash like wildfire across the woods, stumbling over my feet, left arm hanging limp at my side. I don't know why I'm being so reckless; is it because I know I'm almost dead? Because my sister just fucking stranded me in an apocalypse? Either way, I know I have my axe if need be. I can't rely on it, but my eyes don't leave the damn cabin. I have to reach the cabin. 

I catch a glimpse of a walker outside the front door of the cabin once it comes into view. The door is open, and shit, there could be dozens inside by now. I ready my axe in my good hand, creeping up on the thing like it was some sort of endangered species, like it was the prey. I pull a rock from the rubble beside me and chuck it in the opposite direction, hoping the sound will distract it, and it does. Without even trying to kill the thing, I scurry inside. There's a creak in the floorboards of the patio, and I know it's turning back towards me - knows I'm there now - but I'm so fucking close to that gun and shit, I have nothing to lose. 

As soon as my finger wraps around the trigger, I twist around, cock the hammer back, and pull it. Bullseye. See, Eren, you've always been a good shot. In the short time I have before the noise draws more walkers, I collect all the ammunition I can find and stuff it in my utility belt. At least I can reload now, should there be a time when I need to. 

I manage to barricade the house to as good a degree I can with one working arm, and when I finish I'm content with my work. It's still shitty fortification, and no doubt a walker could break through easily, but at least they'll make some noise and remind me to put a bullet through their head.

My wrist is killing me, now that I've attempted to use it. I can't come to terms with the fact that I'm about to die alone, in this rickety cabin, in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. It seems almost photogenic. You could put the situation on a postcard. Hey, guys, look at me with a bite wound and no hope for the future! Wish you were here! The thought almost brings a smirk to my face.

But it doesn't. My face remains deadpan in the silence of the woods, and I decide that until I turn, I can stay here. Sure, it's lonely, and the seclusion from Mikasa hurts, but Charles Darwin wasn't being a damn liar when he was talking about natural selection. This seems like the perfect example of it. 

When Mikasa and I were here, we lived easy. Food adorned the cabinets like earthly décor, and we had a fucking armory in a back room. Even if that armory had maybe a maximum of six weapons, it was there, and our safety looked like it was secured, at least until we ran out of ammo. Or food. Whichever came first. 

I kick back on the sofa that's been nearly ripped to shreds, scarlet fabric hanging off like tassels. I close my eyes, thinking that if I'm going to turn, it might as well be while I'm asleep. It doesn't need to be tended to. It won't need to be tended to when I'm nothing more than rotting flesh tearing through the woods and the streets of my hometown.

Absolute peace. I can't hear the quiet groans of the undead in the distance, can't feel the flickering pain on my wrist. Goddamn, it's healing. It's not even begun to scab over, but the nerves the walker cut through are beginning to numb, beginning to freeze over. Could I... not turn? It seems so fucking ridiculous. 

I guess I'll find out tomorrow. 

If there is a tomorrow.   
_______________

"Mommy, Mommy!" I call out, running up to Mommy's side. She entangles me in her grasp, letting me breathe in her vanilla scent. Vanilla was always my favorite flavor. 

"What is it, sweetheart?" she asks me, and I nuzzle further into her. 

"Nothing. But I love you, Mommy!" Mommy rubs circles on my back with her hands. I feel the love back, can feel it being expressed in its purest form.   
_______________

So.

I didn't turn. 

And it's definitely been a day. 

The purple on my wrist has melted into a bruised blue, and I can finally see the teeth marks without blood smearing all over them - and shit, did that thing have a fucking jaw on it. It's huge, takes up the entire underside of my arm. I reach out a shaky right hand to graze it, and I can't tell myself if I'm surprised that I can't feel anything. I can at least clench my hand, fingers feeling sore after their hours of disuse. And even if the thing looks like a fucking war scar, one thing remains plastered in my mind, hung up on the inside of my skull like a damn wanted poster. 

I didn't turn. 

Am I immune or something? No. People aren't just immune to zombificaton. Maybe he didn't bite me hard enough. Maybe I got an axe to his peabrain before he could inject some sort of turning venom. Maybe my conscience decided that I had enough of a will to fight; except, I had no will. It was all gone when Mikasa left, when I bled out onto grass and went unconscious for a few hours. So it's either one or the other at this point, and neither of the two options seem particularly likely.

   So I might just take pride knowing that there is a slim, minute chance that I'm immune to zombificaton. Finally, the divine entity above me has done something right for once.  
_______________

   The food in the small kitchen of the cabin lasts me a week. It's stale, practically inedible, but anything that soothes the aching growl in my stomach is something I will gladly consume. I should've gone for a supply run earlier, when my body was only just beginning to crave meat. But now, with only fucking vitamin C and D and a few perishable items in cans, I'm in dire need of some protein. And quick. 

   I sling my rifle over my shoulder. I never use it - hell, it isn't even loaded - but it seems to be an intimidator in the face of danger. Look at that kid, whipping out an AR-15 semi-automatic. He must be dangerous. 

   The supply run goes fairly smoothly; I run into only seven walkers on the trip, three of which were stranded in a near-empty gas station a few miles off the beaten path. I manage to pick up a couple candy bars, smash a vending machine for some hydration, but other than that I come back empty-handed. Then again, in times like these, anything but empty-handed is loaded as shit. So I guess I'm lucky. 

   As I approach the cabin, a groan catches me wary. Except, it's not low and rolling and dead. It's human - frustrated and impatient - but human. The rifle, Eren, the rifle. I sneak around the side of the cabin, finally getting a glimpse of the intruders. I can't see their faces, but they're wearing uniforms. The military? No. The military was wiped out by walkers when the apocalypse first began. They're deadly sons of bitches, but they don't have a damn clue how to survive on such primal instincts. The majority of them ran headfirst into a horde of thousands.

So who are these people? White jeans, brown knee highs, tan jackets, and forest green capes adorn their bodies - slender, muscular. There's only three of them, but I can tell just from looking at the back of them that they're too dangerous to get involved with. Stay hidden. 

I walk back around the cabin, hoping they won't notice me and loot whatever the hell they want and leave, and I can eat my candy bars in peace. 

I know the hope is futile. And I know it is, because I only walk a few moments before there's a clack of a gun hammer and a polite nudge against the back of my head. "Don't fucking move." His pistol shoves further into my skull, his breath dangerously close to my neck. "I'll murder you here."

I don't feel any fear. It's just emptiness, after Mikasa left. Please, I tell the man behind me. Shoot me. End it. But I don't move. And he doesn't shoot. But I'm desperately willing to press my luck. "You won't murder me," I say, my body frozen. "If you were a murderer, I'd have a bullet through my brain already." I can feel his finger put pressure on the trigger - not enough to shoot, but enough to let me know he's not exactly playing around. 

"What's your name?" he asks. Safety precaution, or strange desire to know who he's killing? I might never know. And I stay silent, knowing that it's my best bet. If I die, the name Eren Jaeger sure as hell won't go down with me. "You're really looking to kill yourself today, aren't you, kid?" He pulls the gun down, letting me breathe with a relief I didn't know I had in me. "Tch. Suicidal bastard." I turn to meet my maker, going against anything he'd told me to do, and actually almost chuckle when I see him - or, rather, his small figure. 

He's short, I'll give him that. But to have an expression that hooded and overcast with such a deadly glare piercing through silver eyes, paired with the fact that I'm half a foot taller than him? It's almost laughable. 

He sees me, and glint takes shape in his eyes, some murderous glint that makes me sure that he would have shot me down with one word out of line. Huh. The guy might've been a murderer after all. "What's your fucking name?" he asks again, pressing the gun to my chin and me into a wall. I'm between a rock and a hard place - literally, and it takes everything in me not to just reach an arm down and axe the guy. But he has friends. 

   "Eren," I respond, and for a second I think he doesn't believe me; but the way his scowl slightly relaxes tells me he does, and the barrel of the gun returns to his side. 

   "What are you doing here, Eren?" I'm returning his stare with a glare of my own. This guy could be a damn cannibal for all I know. He seems sadistic enough to take up the role. 

   "What do you think?" I smirk, and he looks about ready to drop the gun and stab me with my axe. "I'm being threatened by a goddamn asshole who, might I so graciously add, would probably have killed me by now if I wasn't entertaining as hell."

   Remember when I said he'd drop the gun and stab me with my axe? Yeah, he's dropped the gun. But he doesn't go for my axe; instead, he goes for my neck, my poor, vulnerable, sunburned, exposed neck. And the way his hands grip around me with full intent to kill me is almost terrifying. 

   "Let me go!" I try to yell, kicking and clawing at his vice grip. He doesn't budge, though, and if I had ever once underestimated this man or his size or his strength - okay, maybe his size wasn't much of an understatement - I fully take it back. Please, let me be a holy man. This is an apocalypse, and dying so... domestically, seems out of the ordinary. My left hand reaches up to his hands, trying to pull them away, but Christ, it's like trying to bend metal, and my arm is already weak as it is. 

   "You wanna be a smartass, kid? Fine. I have no problem with-" He's interrupted when his eyes catch sight of my wound. 

Shit. 

   The man, shorter than me but stronger by a longshot, grabs my arm. I wince at the contact, not necessarily used to strange men inspecting a zombie bite. And he stares, and stares, and stares, and just when I'm expecting him to keep staring, he whips his gun off the ground and has it pointing at me in a matter of seconds. "You have ten fucking seconds to explain that shit to me, Eren."

   "I didn't turn." The answer comes out quickly and simply, and far more easily than I expected it to. He eyes me warily.

   "How long?"

   "A week." His eyes narrow, and I know he's having some internal conflict. Should he trust me? I could be the cure to this entire fucking apocalypse. But then again, I could be lying, and I could drop dead any second and he'd have to put a bullet in me anyways.

"Hanji," he calls, putting down the gun again. He turns to me. "Just... don't fucking go anywhere." Run. He's about as kind as a bed of rose thorns, and if I have to be around him any longer I'm going to go fucking insane. 

"What's up?" It's a female this time that rounds the corner of the cabin. She freezes when she sees me, but her chill turns to excitement when she sees what the man is holding. "Oh my God, pouty-pants, we finally found it!" She's jumping around like a child on Christmas, running around the house and bringing with her another man - now this one looks intimidating. 

   "It?" I ask, utterly confused. I wonder how I can be an it. 

   "The cure," Hanji says breathlessly. "Erwin, we found the cure!" She's rushing up to me and stroking the fleshy pink skin of my wrist. "Does it hurt? Is it your first? What did it feel like-"

   Hanji," the blonde, Erwin, says, shutting her up. He's tall, broad - the picturesque zombiepocalypse survivor. "Let the child breathe." He walks up to me as Hanji steps away, and my gaze doesn't reach either of them as I continue to stare at the smaller man in front of me, looking with disinterest off into the distance. "When were you bitten?" he asks. His voice is calming, soothing, and... I trust him. I don't know his ass, but I trust him. Somehow. 

   "A week ago. Actually, in that cabin. Walker got in and neither of us knew it and it just went for me-"

   "Neither of us?" the raven-haired boy asks, eyes back on me. "Who's 'us?'" I shrink back, not prepared to talk about Mikasa. Not prepared at all.

   "It's okay, it's okay," Erwin told me, noticing my sense of stress. "How long was it on you?"

   "Maybe a few seconds. I tried shaking it off, but ended up swinging an axe at its face to stop it." Erwin nods, asks me if I knew how bad the bite was. "I mean, I sort of passed out from blood loss, and the thing doesn't look much better, so I'd say pretty fucking bad."

   He finally sighs, turning back to his comrades. "Don't get your hopes up, Hanji. The world is more desolate than it's ever been, and even if..." I tell him my name. "Eren, does have the cure, we can't be certain that we'll be able to draw one-"

   "Woah, woah. Hold on. You're not drawing anything from me," I say, and the small man chuckles. 

   "We won't be drawing anything from you, kid. But there's a place that will. It's where we're from." I stare uncertainly at him. "Mitras. The most well fortified place in this goddamn world. You'd be an idiot not to come along."

   "Well, that's peachy, considering I'm such a fucking idiot." My grin catches him off-guard. He goes for my neck again, being held back forcefully by Erwin.

"Calm down, Levi," Erwin says, placing the fuming man down beside him, eyes lit with fire. Levi. The name somehow suits him. "Look, Eren, do you want to go to Mitras or not? It'll get you out of this hellhole you call a cabin."

"I-I don't know, guys," I say uncertainly. "I mean, the offer is tempting, but you can't trust anyone out here." Levi's eyes darken, and he's quick to retort.

"Trust us, you insecure piece of shit-"

"Thanks for giving me a reason not to, you fucking gnome." Obviously I've hit a nerve - he doesn't react well to gnome. His breath stops and he looks ready to maim my sorry ass. Looks like I've found his new nickname. 

"You know what?" he asks, turning to Erwin and throwing his arms in the air. "Fucking leave him here. Let the asshole die." Erwin and Hanji stare astounded at the exchange. Apparently, Gnome over here isn't used to being stood up to. 

I could get used to this side of him.

(4/13/17)


	3. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> most of the people around us are nice, but why are we always so much more curious about the one that isn't?

   I agreed to go to Mitras after remembering how little I collected on my most recent supply run. Considering I'm not one to open myself to new people, this trip is uncomfortable at best. And though I want to get out of here, just know that if people find out about me I'll be hunted for my immunity, I can't. I need to stay with these people - with these survivors. 

   Hanji is... well, insane. She can't stop pestering me about my bite, or discussing zombie anatomy, or trying to - very forcefully, might I add - try to inspect every inch of me. "Have you been noticing increased amounts of-"

   "No, I haven't. Leave me be, Hanji, please," I'd say, and reluctantly, she'd cross to the other side of Erwin - and speaking of Erwin, his presence calms me down most of the three. 

   "Where're you from, Eren?" he asks, not even taking a spare glance at me. 

   "Shiganshina," I reply, eyes toward the ground. "My family was split, for the most part, after the infection. I lost my parents not long after we were hit, and then a little while later - maybe a few months - we got separated from Armin, my best friend. My sister-"

   "No one wants to hear your tragic life story, kid," Levi interjects, his usual bored look not faltering for a second. "Past is the past. Keep your eyes on Mitras. You might stand a chance that way."

   "I stood a chance for seven months without you, asshole, I can stand a chance longer." He smirks narrowly, and his amused face almost makes me wince. 

   "You looked like you were near dead back there. I doubt you would've been alive another second if we hadn't found you-"

   "When you 'found' me, you nearly killed me-"

   "I'd do it again in a heartbeat-"

   "Fucking try." He takes the opportunity, just barely getting to my neck before he's pulled off by Erwin again.

"You'd be contradicting yourself if you strangled him, Levi," Erwin reprimands, and I imagine him shaking a finger at a child. "The more the merrier, I say."

"How are you always so damn positive?" Levi mutters with a roll of his eyes. I watch him walk away again, keeping himself company. He doesn't talk much, unless he's arguing with someone - usually me, if the last hour has been any indication.

   "So," I begin, trying to choose my words carefully in fear of anything being a touchy subject, "what's with the getup?" Erwin looks down at me, confused. "What you're wearing, I mean. It looks like a uniform."

   "It is. We're part of the Mitras Survey and Supply Corps. We do weekly supply runs and clear the surrounding area around Mitras of walkers. Though..." As he trails off, I watch Hanji place a hand on his shoulder, as if to say go on. "Recently, we ran into a horde. There were seven of us before the trip began."

   "Oh, God, I... I'm sorry, Erwin." I can't think of anything more to say. These guys lost their entire group. I lost, what, a couple of friends? Nothing makes my life worse than theirs. 

   "It's fine. Levi here's been taking it the hardest. Most of the violence you're seeing is a result of Far-"

   "Don't fucking talk about them!" Levi screams, eyes seeing fire. "It's over. Don't talk about it anymore." What could've happened for Levi to lash out like that? "Get to Mitras and I might explain it if you don't piss me off further, brat." What is he, a mind reader? 

   "I'm not a brat," I tell him, trying to push past Erwin. God, someone's got to lay a punch on him sooner or later. "Besides, I doubt it's even possible for me to piss you off any more than I already have."

   "He has a point," Hanji explains, holding up a slender finger. Her eyes drift upwards toward the sky. "Erwin."

   "Hmm?" He follows her gaze and, once realizing what she was looking at, begins to check our surroundings. "Oh. It is getting late, isn't it?" But the sky is still blue. 

   "It's still daylight, though," I mention. Erwin nods in agreement and stops walking, pulling a large bag around from his hips. 

   "Walkers are more active at night. Once the sun begins to set, it's much more dangerous. By the time we set up camp, it'll be late evening, and we can keep watch from our makeshift barricade: which isn't much, but at least we'll know when one gets in." He slings his backpack off his shoulder and unzips it quickly, pulling out eight steel extendable beams. "We just stick these into the ground, and..." He tosses seven of them on the grass beneath us and extends the eighth. It's taller than me now - much taller than Levi - and slams it into the dirt below. It roots itself, standing upright with ease. "Voila."

   "Drop the French, Erwin, it's horrendous." Levi rolls his eyes and walks off. 

   "Well," Erwin says, holding out another beam, "since Levi's going to be dismissive, would you mind helping Hanji and I with the barricade? Just stick 'em in a circle about eight feet apart. We'll hang the covers afterwards." I take the beam, walking over to where I need to stick it in the ground, and I do.

   We manage to get camp set up in an hour. There are cans upon cans upon cans hanging from fishing line connected at each pole, and our tents are well-lit, giving us a decent vantage point should anything happen overnight. Levi grudgingly walked off about thirty minutes in, and I haven't seen him since. "You guys know where Levi went?" Hanji chuckles, lifting her head from the fire she's been trying to start and looking out at the edge of the woods.

   "Short-stuff likes to venture off without us sometimes. He's probably staring emotionlessly at a river watching the forest animals run by. He's oddly sentimental."

   "You're not worried he'll get killed?" I ask, following Hanji's eyes. "You said it yourself; it gets more dangerous at night."

   "Relax, Eren," Erwin chimes in from the side of the tent. "Levi's the most capable hunter of all of us. If anyone can survive on his own, it's him. Nice of you to worry about him, though." I scoff at Erwin's amused glare.

   "I was not worrying about him," I respond. Erwin's still giving me that smartass smirk, and it takes most of my self control not to run over and rip it off of him. "I'm concerned for the well-being of the group."

   "Mhm," Hanji hums in agreement. "It looks to me as if you're softening up to him." I gawk at her, and she cackles. "I'm kidding, Zombie Bait. We all know you despise each other."

   "Zombie Bait?"

   "Hey, if you're immune to this whole walker thing, don't think I won't use you as a meat shield in a horde. It's not like you'll turn anyways." What the hell?

   "You can't just throw me in front of a few walkers as bait! Whether I turn or not, they'll eat me to shreds." Hanji laughs maniacally, a vicious fucking cackle erupting from her lips.

   "I'm kidding, Eren. You're kind of the one of us that needs to survive." I roll my eyes, sitting down on the grass beside her.

   "I'm sure this is just a fluke," I respond, motioning to my gory, bloodied up, bruised wrist which miraculously isn't in as much pain as it was last week. "He probably just didn't bite hard enough."

   "Have you seen that bite, Eren? I'm surprised you didn't bleed out, it's so deep. No way that wouldn't have turned you under normal circumstances." I chuckle, aiming my eyes at the small sparks of fire rising from Hanji's makeshift fire. 

   "Well, I'm one lucky bastard. That's what they tell me, at least. I'm not getting bit again, though. I'd go through hell and back before I let another one of those things touch me."

"Makes sense. You must have some jacked PTSD from that, huh?" I shake my head.

"Nah, it's whatever. As long as I'm not walking around without a brain, how bad can it be?" My voice is stale and monotone, and Hanji, despite only being around my disgusting sense of humor for a few hours, begins to laugh. 

"You're pretty funny, Eren, you know that? Erwin probably thinks the same." She finally begins to get a flame going, and cackles happily when the heat begins to hit her. I toss a stray piece of wood into the fire to keep it lit, raising my eyebrows at Hanji. 

"And Mr. Jackass?" I ask, the corner of my mouth turning up in a smirk. 

"If anything, you're walker meat to him." I shrug in silent agreement and rest my head in my hands. "For now. He'll come around, Eren. He's a big softie underneath."

"Ah, he might be a big softie but his chokehold is anything but." Hanji's smile widens. "I would know!"

"In hindsight - just looking out for you, you know, the works - you might want to learn how to be more masochistic. It's probably the only way you'll survive for now." The fire crackles around us in the bitter silence that takes over for a few moments. 

And then, the silence is broken, just as it always it. "I'll take the chokehold, thanks." I didn't know five words could be so fucking hilarious to a person, especially considering it wasn't a joke, but apparently everything is funny to Hanji and I have to deal with it. 

Aside from her antics, Hanji's actually being more friendly than I'd expect. She's more welcoming than even Erwin, who was giving me nothing but warm comfort when I first joined up with this trio. Levi, on the other hand... well, Levi can go suck a dick.

   "So," Hanji says, beginning to cook her less-than-appetizing dinner in the fire. "What's life like in Shiganshina? Before this whole catastrophe."

   "Well, I didn't really leave Shiganshina until the infection broke out, but it was nice. We weren't the wealthiest city, but we made do. And... I had a best friend and a sister, Armin and Mikasa. They... were with me at the start of it."

   "What happened?" I heave a heavy breath. I hadn't spoken about Armin since... since he left, I'm pretty sure. "If you don't mind me asking."

   "No, it's okay. I just... haven't talked about them with anyone. It's pretty fresh in my mind. Armin was with us for six months, but we lost him while we were sneaking through a horde." Hanji gasps. "I... I assume he's dead. Has to be. It's been a whole month and he's been on his own."

"You seem strangely okay with that."

"It's better than considering that he could be one of those things, or even surviving out there without anyone else. He's always thrived on social interaction. He wouldn't make it without someone there. Death is... better for him, I'd like to think." Hanji responds with a calm silence, urging me to continue but not pressing the matter.

"Mikasa is my adopted sister. We were really going strong, the two of us, until that asswipe came and tore my wrist up. She fucking bolted after that. She ran out into the woods. She's still alive, I'm sure. She's too capable to get herself killed. But I wish I knew where she was."

"Well, chances are she'll come across Mitras sooner or later if she ran off in the direction of the woods. They'll take care of her there."

"They?"

Hanji pokes the fire with a stick. "Pixis and the others. They run the show there. It's a bit... chaotic at times, but we don't really see much of it anyways, being in the Survey Corps. We're out here most of the time. Hopefully, though, we can take some time off after the recent slaughterfest and recoup. And get that bite of yours looked at."

"And... if it is some sort of immunity? What'll happen to me then?"

"Well, I won't sugarcoat it. You'll have targets on your back for damn sure. But Erwin and I - and Levi, if he ever picks his five feet of depression off the ground - we'll protect you. That's our job, right?" I nod curtly but gratefully. "Hopefully the doctors there will be able to just extract some blood from you. What's your blood type?"

"I have no idea in hell. I'd guess O?"

"That'd be fantastic. That way we can inject some of your O blood into everyone as a vaccine. It'll be a slow start but I'm sure we can eventually build a master race of zombie-immune humans, just you... and Levi-"

"What the fuck, Hanji? He hates my guts."

"You don't hate his," she replies with a sly smirk. 

"I'm more than willing to try and cooperate with the asswipe, but I am not repopulating the earth with someone half my size, like them or not! No way. No chance in hell." Hanji cackles at my defensive tone, nearly falling off her own ass into the fire. 

   "God, Eren, it was a joke! You despise each other. I get it. But even so - and this isn't a joke - you will have to work together if you want to make it out here alive. I don't want to be broken apart limb from limb because two of my allies can't quit strangling each other." I sigh, resting my elbows on my knees and leaning forward. "Don't pout."

"I wasn't pouting," I snap. She doesn't reply, and instead looks pensively into the fire in front of us. When she gets her new idea, she points her stick in the air like a lightbulb. 

"How old are you, by the way?" she asks, pointing her stick directly at my face. It's almost reminiscent of Levi's pistol that had just recently been pressed against my forehead earlier today.

"Nineteen," I reply. "You?"

Her mouth opens wide when she gasps, and she furrows her eyebrows together. "Eren Jaeger! It is not polite to ask a lady her age!"

   I'm about to come up with some witty retort, but when I hear someone call Erwin's name from a ways away, it makes both Hanji and I turn our heads. "Erwin, give me a little help with this." I can't fucking believe it: Levi killed a deer. 

   And he's singlehandedly lugging the thing back to camp.

   Hanji turns back to her campfire, clapping me on the back. "Told 'ya he can take care of himself. Don't worry, little guy. Levi's short, but he's strong." I still can't take my eyes off the scene before me. Erwin is now helping drag the dead animal over to the fire, and Levi looks way too satisfied with himself. 

   "How'd you get this one?" Erwin asks Levi. He pats the small handgun in his pocket. "Levi, how many times do I have to tell you: you can't just shoot your pistol at anything with legs."

   "It got us a deer, didn't it?"

   "Sure, but it also attracts walkers. You know that. Your recklessness will get you into trouble one day."

Levi rolls his eyes, shrugging nonchalantly. "You call it recklessness, I call it survival."

"You won't survive much longer if this keeps up."

"Just shut the hell up, Erwin. I get it. It's not like I'm going to drag a horde back to camp with me." Aw, great. Just fucking great. He's going to jinx this shit one day.

   "Fine, sport. Have it your way," Erwin finishes with a grin. Levi isn't too pleased with the word 'sport,' and shoots the former a death glare until he can manage to get the deer by the fire. 

   "What are you staring at, brat?" I jump out of my thoughts and see Levi's cold stare burning into me. 

   "Nothing," I reply quickly, my skin shivering. "Just wondering when we're going to eat." I'm not going to lie; the deer is fucking mouthwatering considering I've been living on candy, beans, and expired Gatorade for a week or more. My last decent meal was when Mikasa was around. We had found a frozen dinner in the cottage's fridge, and hell if I wasn't going to devour that shit. 

   "Patience, kid. I know you're fucking starving but I doubt you want to eat this raw. Unless... you're into that?" Levi smirks wildly. 

   "Gross, no!" I yell, backing away from him. "What the hell, Levi. Just cook the damn deer."

   "I'm sorry, who are you to be telling me what to do?" I pull my hands to my chest and jut out my bottom lip. 

   "A poor, stawving child who can't suwvive much longur if he doesn't eat, mistur," I answer, batting my eyelashes. He looks away from me, letting a sound escape from his lips that sounds like a cross between a scoff and a mildly annoyed huff. What kind of noise...

   "Levi, just cook it," Erwin says. 

   "Yeah, shorty," Hanji agrees, standing up and clapping him on the shoulder. "He's not that bad."

   "You have no idea how much I want to kick him right now."

   "Well, he could be your key to living, so deal with him until we get back to Mitras, and then you can hand him over to Pixis and we never have to see his scrawny little face ever again."

   "Hey! I am not scrawny!"

   Hanji laughs. "Sorry, Eren." When she flips her gaze back over to Levi, she only laughs harder. "Give it a rest, shorty. Eren's not going to hurt anyone."

   I can feel Levi's chilling stare on me even after I avert my eyes from him. "Not going to hurt anyone," he says, and without looking I can tell he's crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I really hope that's true."

(4/20/17)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for 100 hits already!! It's a small goal but it means so much, especially in only three chapters. You're all awesome xx


	4. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> luck lies at the center of all our beings. so does karma, but that's another story.

Okay, I didn't really want to admit this, but I'm so grateful for these three. I haven't gone hungry for four days, and I haven't had to touch my axe with the intent of killing something in that time, either. I don't know what it is about them, but food just seems to fall into their damn laps and walkers seem to float away from them. That deer Levi killed the other day lasted us a full five meals, and considering how few and far between my mealtimes are, it was a delicacy. 

Once the deer was gone, we had a little bit of a tougher time, but Erwin had said - with the confirmation of Hanji and Levi - that we were getting close to Mitras. And sure enough, I could see giant walls emerging from the ground up ahead. They're covered in moss from the soil to the sky, and look like they're made of steel. And they seem to go on forever. How big is this place?

   "Eren, we're going to need to get you passed through an inspection before we can get you in. Regulatory procedures," Erwin explains. 

   "Inspection? A zombie bit my arm, Erwin, they're never going to let me in."

   "They will," Hanji assures. "If there's anything Dot Pixis can't resist, it's the smell of immunity. We just whip up your little story and you'll be the king of Mitras." She waves her finger around, smiling so brightly that it physically hurts. 

"Whatever you say, Oh Great Scientist Hanji Zoë," I respond, and she giggles like a little fucking schoolgirl. 

"Erwin, he called me a scientist!" She's a little too excited about it, jumping and twirling in front of us.

"Commander Smith!" Someone calls from a ways away, from the wall, and waves frantically. "Welcome back!"

Erwin smiles warmly as we approach the girl. Her hair is brown, tied back in a messy ponytail. She looks like she's on some sort of sugar high or something. "Miss Braus. You're working guard today?"

"Mhm," she affirms. "Petra was sick today so I'm taking her shift." She glances at the people behind Erwin - including me - and raises an eyebrow. "What happened to the rest of your squad? And who's that?"

"That's Eren. We need to get him inside so Pixis can look at him."

"And your squad?" Erwin sighs heavily, hands passing through his hair.

"Horde."

The girl - Braus - gasps loudly. "Oh my God, Commander, I'm so sorry."

"It's not a big deal, Braus. Although we'll have to get some new recruits, and with how much training is required, we probably won't be making any more trips any time soon. So your guard duty will be extremely important, you hear?"

"Yes, sir! We will have to inspect your friend, though, before you all can get in." Erwin closes in on her, whispers some shit into her ear. And by the way her eyes widen, I know he's talking about the damn bite. "I-immune?"

"We're thinking so. Can we bypass inspection, just this once?"

"Commander, I can't just go against Mr. Pixis's orders."

"They'll kill him, Sasha. Without even a second glance at that wound on his wrist. He could be our only real shot at a cure."

"Fine, I'll let you in. But once Mr. Pixis figures out that you three snuck him in, he'll be after your throats." Sasha turns to the gate and opens it, letting us inside quietly. "Come on. We can sneak through the Underground." Before I can do anything else, I turn around to take in the sight before me. And it's fucking breathtaking.

   It's the first city I've seen in seven months, and it looks as if the infection never touched it. People in lab coats rush back and forth along with other people in that damned uniform, and the buildings are tall and made of sturdy deep red brick. Shiganshina, even before the outbreak, didn't look this nice. This looks like it had been some sort of capital city at some point. Hell, it still looks like that. 

   Sasha goes down a flight of stairs, and we follow her blindly. The tunnels are filled with homeless people, beggars, that are coughing pitifully and eyeing us with jealous gazes. "It's just down this path. You'll see 'down with Dot' carved into the wall where the ladder is." Down with Pixis. Very reassuring. "Can you get there without me? I need to stay at my post."

   "Of course. Thanks, Braus. I'll be sure to get you a raise sometime."

   "Oh, that's really not necessary, Commander."

   "The more money you have, the more food you can buy," Erwin says, smirking. 

   "I will take all the money you think I deserve!" She quickly turns on her heel and runs back the way we came, up the stairs by the gate. Levi is leaning against the wall of the tunnel, rolling his eyes. 

   "Can we get on with this, Commander Charming? I really hate it down here." And I see my opportunity, and I take it.

   "Why? You're the only one of us short enough to stand without ducking. You should love it." His eyes flash with fire. 

   "You're so damn lucky I don't snap your neck right now," he says through gritted teeth. "Be glad we even brought you to Mitras, brat. Know your fucking place."

   "Oh, I know my place. It's taller than yours." And, just as expected, Levi goes for my neck. Hanji catches him before he can, pulling him back. 

  "Now, now, boys, let's all calm down. Kiss and make up."

   "What the hell?" Levi grumbles, forcing himself out of Hanji's grip. He starts toward the ladder Sasha had been talking about, ignoring us entirely. 

   "Look, Eren," Hanji says as we begin walking, "I know it's fun to push his buttons, but Levi's really not in the best place right now so if you could maybe not be too hard on him?"

"I mean, he could kill me whenever he wanted to."

"Not really. You're kind of needed right now, Eren. If we can get to Pixis without Shorty strangling you, that is."

I chuckle. "Good luck doing that."

It's not long before we reach the ladder Sasha had been telling us about, and we climb it carefully, watching out for anyone at the top. When I poke my head out of the trap door at the top of the ladder, I'm met with an ornate building adorned in maroon and gold. There are tapestries hanging from the windows, grand doors, and stone pillars everywhere. "Come on, slowpoke," Hanji says, pulling me out of the hole in the ground. "This shortcut only gets us past the guards out front. We still need to hurry to Pixis."

As we hurry down the hall, I notice Levi has his hand sitting tensely on the gun at his hip, ready to shoot anything that he faces. "Hey, Gnome, you can put the gun away. Nothing is going to bite us here." He laughs quietly. 

"Oh, you naïve little brat," he mutters. "I've had to put a bullet in peoples' heads on multiple occasions here. And I think, considering that you have some fucking immunity, that this qualifies as a good circumstance to do so should something stop us from getting to Pixis."

The hallways seem to go on forever, but I just follow behind the three veterans here as they lead me to a door at the end of a long, long hall, a portrait of an old man next to it. His skin is dotted with what looks to be skin cancer spots, and his eyes are lidded with an inquisitive look in them. His head is stripped of its hair, and he wears the same uniform as Erwin, Hanji, and Levi. Is that him? He looks... really threatening. 

Erwin knocks on the door. "Commander Pixis, an update," he says authoritatively, and the door slowly cracks open.

"Get in here, Erwin." You know, for looking so old in his picture, he sounds really young. "This had better be good if you're coming here unappointed." He steps in, followed by Levi and Hanji, and I walk in awkwardly - always so fucking awkward, right? "Who the hell is that? And where's the rest of your squad? Nile? Moblit? Farlan? Isabel?" Levi's grip tightens on his gun. "Cool it, Ackerman."

"We... ran into a horde, sir," Hanji answers. "We were almost entirely wiped out. If it hadn't been for Levi's incredible aim, I'd be a goner."

"Mhm. And the kid?"

"That's Eren. He's what we came here to talk to you about, sir."

"We don't have any more room here. You know this, Hanji."

"I know, but Eren is what we've been looking for all this time! Show him, Eren." I extend my arm to Pixis, as instructed. He's less than amused when he sees the crusting, bruised bite.

"Shit. Shit, Erwin, you brought an infected person into Mitras?"

"He was bitten eleven days ago, Dot. He should've turned by now. We've been keeping a close eye on him for the past few days and he's shown no signs of zombification. He's clean. We're sure of it." Pixis sighs, grabs my wrist with his calloused, old hands. 

"Send him to Mina. If she traces even the slightest trace of venom in his bloodstream he's dead, you hear me, Erwin? I don't need a walker in these borders."

"And if he's clean?"

"We'll try something. But you know the population is tight, so you're willing to-"

"For humanity, anything." Pixis nods thoughtfully. 

"Take him to Mina, you two. I'll let the guards know of your presence. Erwin, stay here with me and talk. We need to discuss recruits. I'd like to get a bigger team going to open up more space for residents here." Without so much as a goodbye, Hanji grabs my arm and leads me out of the room. Levi is following close behind. 

"Well, that went well."

"Hanji, are they really going to kill me if they find venom in me?" Levi scoffs - that weird noise he did a few days ago. 

"Idiotic if they do. The venom will just make a stronger vaccine for others. But I wouldn't put it past them, so don't get your hopes up," he grumbles. 

So I've gone from absolute fuck-up to living life easy to lowly teammate to almost dead in a matter of days.

Thanks, divine entity. You're so great, oh Holy One.

(4/27/17)


	5. Four

Mina Carolina is my savior.

I mean, I hadn't been particularly in danger, considering Hanji was around and she wouldn't let me bite the bullet for a second, but it was a little unnerving having the high and mighty of Mitras place my entire life on the acts of a walker.

Dr. Carolina (she liked to be called Mina, but I'm a little too polite around authority when I'm scared for my life) has dark hair pulled into pigtails, making her look far younger than her actual age. She's not old by any means, but her hair makes her look like a fucking toddler. She has a nice, kind smile, one that's rare in times like these, with sparkling white teeth and pale golden skin. She looks like the infection hadn't even touched her, like this whole outbreak never even began.

"Eren?" she asks, snapping me out of my trance. "Well, you're definitely immune, but I have good news and bad news. Which do you want first?"

"Bad?" I question, treading on thin ice. She sighs.

"There is venom in your system, and unfortunately the extraction won't be easy since you've gone so long without having anything treated. It's pretty much in your entire bloodstream now." Fuck.

"So I'm getting killed."

"That's the good news, actually!"

"That I'm dying?" She laughs brightly.

"No, silly. The good news is that I know of a way of getting Dot to let you live. It's dangerous, but if you want to survive that much I can definitely put a word in with the big guy."

"And this way..." Mina's captured the interest of Hanji, too, who's more than intrigued at her words.

"I might be able to use the venom in your blood to engineer some sort of zombie toxin that you can use whenever you're around one. It'll change the DNA in your cells and have them temporarily rot so that you can get through hordes undetected. It'll be useful for Dot, since even he has a hard time fighting off so many at once. If you can get close enough, you can make it through hundreds, maybe even thousands of them at once." I'm stunned; does she want me to turn myself into one of those things?

"Mina, I don't understand," Hanji says, lost in thought. "What exactly are you trying to accomplish? Aside from our last scouting mission we've had great success with hordes anyways. We don't need Eren going walker on us when we're in the middle of one. He needs to rest, heal, and find a cure."

"I don't think I'll be able to make a vaccine from him, Dr. Zoë. His wound is too stale. I need something fresh in order to concentrate the venom. Now that it's all spread out over his body, we'd have to extract samples from virtually every place where there are replicating stem cells on his body and match them with DNA samples from walkers and genetically modify Eren's blood samples so that they include the entirety of the venom. It's too risky at this point. We don't have the technology to keep him stable while losing that much blood for experimentation."

"So what? We take him back to Pixis and ask if he can turn Eren into a zombie shifter?"

"I think I'd be a little more subtle with it, but that's about right." Hanji starts cackling.

"Mina, he's never going to let you do that." Dr. Carolina suddenly realizes something and looks down at her clipboard, then at my flaking wrist that's now turned a light gray color. It's about to start eating me from the inside out, I fucking know it, but apparently the only shit Mitras cares about us a vaccine. Not my well being. But, you know, I'll take what I can get.

"That's it, Hanji!" she exclaims, turning to her and taking her by the shoulders. "We inject number X into Eren, and then he can shift and bite everyone else and then we'll all have it!"

"No. Not number X. Absolutely not. He can't take that, he's just a kid." Confusion starts to well up within me. What the hell is that? X is not a number.

"What's-"

"Don't worry about it, Eren, you're not getting it anyways."

"I want to know, Hanji!" She pauses, sighs, and calms herself down.

"Number X is our first failed attempt at a vaccine. It's the closest thing we have to one right now, but it only fights against some portions of the infection and there are nasty side effects. I'm not letting Mina put it in you."

"Technically," Mina says, "I could put it in you without the side effects. It's just... most people are highly allergic to some of the chemicals in walker venom, and you haven't experienced any rash, hives, internal bleeding, bone deficiency, receding gumline, or rotting flesh."

"How fucking fantastic," I reply in mock joy.

"Look, Eren... your wound is just too old for me to be able to do anything." The gears in my head, rusted as they may be, start turning at Dr. Carolina's words. "I'm sorry, Hanji. I really am, but unless we're willing to take some major risks I can't keep the boy alive. Dot gets the final word around here and you know it."

"What if I just got bit again?" I ask, staring intently at the specked tile on the floor.

"Eren, do you know what the hell you're saying?" Hanji scolds me; not like it's her place to do it, though.

"I'm immune. It's not like I can't take another one."

"You nearly bled out last time! What, you expect us to find a walker and bring it here just so it can bite you? That's suicide! What the fuck, Eren?"

"That or death," I respond.

"You'll die either-"

"I'm immune, Hanji," I snap at her. Look, it's great that she cares about my well-being but seeing as I can make decisions for myself, could she please piss off?

"Eren, calm down," Dr. Carolina says peacefully. "She's your senior. She's only looking out for you."

"She's my senior?" I almost laugh.

"Yes."

"Well," I say, standing from the hospital bed and making my way to the door all the while glaring at Hanji, "I'm her last hope." Before I leave, I look back to Dr. Carolina. "I don't care what you tell Pixis but I'm getting you that vaccine one way or another."

Levi is waiting just outside the door, and I shove past him on my way out. "Woah, kid. Calm the hell down."

"Not in the mood for your shit, Levi," I say, stopping myself with all the self control I have and turning around to face him.

He smirks. "What, did Mina send you to your death or something? Little pissed off about it?"

I groan, staring back on my path out of the hospital. I didn't have time for this. "Shut the fuck up." I can hear him audibly sigh from his spot ten feet away from me. Ten... fifteen... twenty...

"Erwin's still in that meeting with Pixis. You don't have anywhere to go, and the guards will throw you out for that shit on your arm. Stay here until you can convince Mina to-"

"I convinced her all I could! It's Hanji that wouldn't let me go through with it!" God, it's getting tiring going back and forth between Levi and the door.

"Go through with what?"

"I told Mina that if she needs a fresh bite I can just go and get bit again-"

"What the hell?" Levi says in shock. His arms cross at his chest and he turns his head to the ground. "Motherfucker."

"You're not getting a vaccine any other way."

"You would do that? For humanity?"

"Well, I'm scared shitless, but I'd do it if it meant that I'd be able to not get killed by Pixis."

He chuckles evilly. "So you're okay with getting killed, but not by Pixis."

"I'm not getting killed, asshole! I'm immune!"

"We don't know that yet."

"I have a whole bloodstream full of walker venom and I'm still human and you think I'm not immune?"

"Christ, that's not what I said. Look, I'll put in a word with Hanji if it's really pissing you off so much that she's not letting you go and get your ass whipped by a zombie again. But you stay here. No telling what the guards will do if-"

"Levi." A booming voice comes in through the door. Erwin runs past me and up to Levi, taking him by the shoulder. "Dot's letting him stay."

"Are you kidding me?" Levi asks incredulously. "After all of the shit he's gone through to keep the population down, he's really..."

"Apparently there's some death row people who are moving out soon."

"Shit. That bastard." Levi pushes Erwin's hand off his shoulder and starts making his way to the hospital room. "Hey, brat," he says, getting my attention. "I really hope you're not an empathetic person."

_______________

   Shit. Levi was right about the empathy shit, alright. I just got dragged out of a bed at four in the damn morning by an almost giddy Levi - a terrifying sight considering his usually stoic personality. "Come on, Eren," he had said with a grin. "Don't want to miss the feast."

And a feast it is. Holy shit. I arrive at what looks to be a town square, all dolled up as if it weren't the fucking middle of the night, with lights and a running fountain and a crowd. And Levi has a tight grip on my arm, forcing my eyes at a scene in the middle of a plaza: three men kneeled down with their wrists shackled together in front of them and cloth bags over their heads. Pixis stands behind them, holding one of the largest - and probably heaviest - handguns I've ever seen. This... cannot be what it looks like.

"A feast, Levi? Are you fucking serious?"

"Hey, you were the one who moved into their house. That's how it is in Mitras; someone's got to go if someone else needs in. Good thing those three were already on death row. Not like they weren't expecting this at some point. It'd be hell if you'd taken out a random citizen." Is that what this is about? Me moving in here?

"Christ, what'd they do?" I ask.

"Well, rumor has it that these three stole a few vials of Number X - that's our first attempt at-"

"I know what that shit is. Go on." He rolls his eyes, glaring at me before continuing his speech.

"Rumor has it they stole some and tried injecting themselves with small enough portions that they'd be able to become immune. Apparently it didn't work, and when they got caught by the guards here for thievery, their teeth were missing and their eyes were hanging from their damn sockets. Gruesome stuff, Number X. They're on death row for stealing from the government but I wouldn't put it past them if they wanted to die at this point. So don't get your balls in a twist over it."

"Levi, I'm the reason they're about to get shot-"

"No, the reason they're getting shot is because of their own dumbass mistakes. Grow a pair and watch. Learn to be numb to this. It happens. You're still alive. Get the hell over it."

Pixis calls everyone to attention as soon as Levi finishes talking, and I don't have time to retort. "People of Mitras," he begins. "Today marks a special occasion. Today we are purging humanity's failures and bringing society to a more peaceful state."

"Peaceful my ass."

"Shut the fuck up, brat."

"It is with great honor that I present to you our three criminals. They are of no name, and of no face, but they have enacted treason against the Mitras guard and must be punished for their wrongdoings." Pixis raises his gun to the sky. "Keeping humanity safe, one bullet at a time!"

The crowd, in unison, chants, "For Mitras!" How often does this happen that they have a fucking slogan? Levi's grip tightens on my arm as Pixis lowers his gun to the head of the first man.

 _Bullet_.

The sound rings through the crowd loudly, alarming even the furthest away of birds and deer as the first man drops to the ground, dead. There's blood pouring from the inside of the bag and the plaza cobblestone is slowly deepening in color.

 _Bullet_.

Pixis's grin is wild as he watches man number two drop lifelessly, blasted head hitting the ground with a sickening thud.

 _Bullet_.

And soon the plaza is soaked in blood, crowd raving like lunatics at the death of the three men. I should be running. Crying. Screaming. Throwing shit everywhere in a fit of rage. But all I can do is stand in complete shock as Levi's fingers dig into my skin like needles.

(5/4/17)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the slightly late chapter!! I've hardly had time to write given that it's AP testing week, and I'm graduating in 22 days which makes everything a little more stressful. Hopefully the hour-late delay isn't too much of an issue!


	6. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we must be put in the position of a follower in order to rise as a leader.

Three dead men are all it took for Erwin to speak out against Pixis - that is to say, he spoke out against Pixis to me, not him. But nevertheless, I was intrigued at how he suddenly didn't enjoy the guy's practices. 

"Erwin, why are you making such a big deal out of this?" Hanji asks, leaning her elbow on the arm of the chair in my new apartment. "He does this all the time."

"Yes, but Eren is one person. He killed three." Erwin is frantically pacing back and forth against the dirty carpet at the floor.

"They were all going to die anyways. Death row. You of all people know what that is." Erwin stops for a second, and I see his hand twitch at his side. His entire demeanor has darkened in a split second. "Forget it, Erwin. It's in the past."

"Memories never fade, Hanji," he snaps. It takes everything in me to stop myself from busting out a snarky ass comment, but for the sake of Erwin - and for myself, because I'd rather not be killed by him - I keep quiet.

And apparently I don't need to comment on it, either, because the conversation is dropped there. "Eren," Hanji says, getting my attention. "You have a meeting with Pixis tomorrow to discuss our plan of action."

"Me?"

"Yes. He specifically requested that you meet with him alone." I laugh loudly. 

"Oh, I'm so dead tomorrow."

"No, he won't do anything to you. He's already killed a few people just to get you a room here, so he trusts you. Just prove that trust to him and you'll be fine."

"What reason does he have to trust me?"

"I've noticed he takes Mina at her word most of the time. If she says you're safe, he'll believe her. She literally can't lie. I've never seen her fib, not once." Hanji suddenly seems really intrigued by Mina's honesty complex, which I just find strange. 

"Keep in mind that you'll probably be going on our next scouting trip with us, if your plan holds up," Erwin says. "I would use the time you're here to eat well, get some rest, and train. It's not much of a social town, but if you want to go around talking to people, you can do that, too."

"Trust me, Erwin, I'm perfectly fine staying the hell here." He chuckles. 

"I figured as much. Now... what weapon are you most comfortable with?"

"I use my axe most of the time, but I keep a little handgun with me just in case." Hanji giggles. "What?"

"An axe. What a barbarian."

"Hey, that damn axe kept me from being eaten alive," I say, glaring at her.

"Not like it would matter. Your blood doesn't have a cure in it. You're useless at this point." The asshole's voice makes me jump. Sometimes I forget Levi's in the room because he keeps so quiet most of the time.

"Useless?" I repeat, turning to his lurched over body against the wall. The fake glare I had been giving Hanji is not all too real when I put it upon Levi. 

"What, you're deaf, too? Well, read my fucking lips: you won't survive a day in Mitras if you can't get us a vaccine. So if this plan of yours fails, you can kiss your sweet, sorry ass goodbye because Pixis will shoot you on the spot if you come back empty-handed." I hate him. I hate him, and I hate the fact that he can throw such words around with so much ease that it's as if Pixis literally has my life dangling by a thread. And... I hate that he's so convincing, and that I believe him. 

"I'll get it done, okay? As long as we find a walker, I can get bit by it. It's not that big of a deal, asshole."

"And what then? Do you expect Mina to go outside the city? She wouldn't last a minute. She's a doctor, not a fighter. We don't know how fast the venom spreads, kid. It might take a few days, it might take a few hours. The point is that if we go back to Mina and she still can't get a vaccine from you, you're good as dead. So don't act all high and mighty because you're immune. That ego of yours will get you killed."

"I hate to admit it, but short stack is right."

"Don't fucking call me that, Hanji."

"You can shove it," she replies, not even glancing at him. "Seriously, Eren. You can't expect everything to go smoothly. You're immune, but your body can't take that much blood loss in such a short amount of time. Lethal or not, you lose blood every time that venom goes in your system. It takes over whatever portion you lost. And you might not turn, but you won't be alive if your bloodstream is nothing but walker venom. You won't be able to go back out there a third time. If this mission doesn't go exactly according to plan, Mitras has essentially lost its last hope. Please don't just push this aside."

"That's not what I'm trying to do," I state. "I'm just trying not to look like a complete mess right now because I just signed up to go on a fucking zombie hunt."

"That's your own damn fault," Levi sneers. "Shouldn't have jumped on board so quickly." And he walks past me and out of the room without another word. Erwin follows him, and suddenly I'm left with Hanji, who's sitting on the chair with an expression I can't place. 

"Um, you need to get ready, and I probably shouldn't be here if you're changing, and I need to go!" she shouts quickly, jolting up and dashing out of the room. 

What a fucking weirdo.   
_______________

   "Eren Jaeger. It's so nice to meet you." Dot Pixis extends his left hand, and I go to meet it. Except... he stops when he sees the fleshy bite on my wrist and switches arms, choosing to shake my right hand.

   I already have a bad feeling about this 'meeting.'

   "You wanted to see me?" I ask. 

   "Yes! Yes, come in. We need to discuss the next scouting mission." As I walk further into his room, I remember suddenly that this man has killed three people - probably more than that, actually, but I've seen him kill three people, and that's three too many. "As you know," he begins, sitting in a large red leather chair behind a wide desk, "Erwin has talked me into letting you stay in Mitras for the time being."

"That's great."

"But I need you focused on the task at hand at all times, okay?" I nod. "Fantastic. Now, I'd like you to consider officially joining the Mitras Survey and Supply Corps. This doesn't have to happen immediately - in fact, I don't think it should - but I need to ensure that you're with Erwin, Hanji, and Levi at all times. They are your superiors and are responsible for your well-being until we can create a vaccine from your blood."

   "Got it. I'll do it."

   "You'll have to undergo some serious training here in the city before you can leave, understand? This includes, but is not limited to: shooting a gun, shooting an arrow, throwing knives, physical combat, agility, weightlifting, fire making, camouflage, and stealth. Put all that on the table and we're looking at about a month before we can get you back out there. Think you can handle it?"

   "Yes, sir." I totally cannot handle all of that. 

   "Great. You'll start training in two days. The month time frame also gives us a good chunk of time to find more recruits. We lost a few on the last supply run and most of our qualified individuals are working garrison at the moment. I'll have to find new guards."

   "How big do you think the new group will be?" I ask him. He puts a finger to his wrinkled chin. 

   "Including you four? I'd say about ten. But I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you. I've been looking at some prospects and they're all dreadful people. Wonderful warriors but dreadful human beings. I can show a few to you, if you'd like."

   "If it's not an issue."

   "Of course not." He pulls a drawer open and brings out a huge stack of files with faces and folders and numbers. It's insane. So fucking insane. He sets the first one in front of me, pointing at the guy's picture. "This is Jean Kirstein. He's got some amazing strength, he really does, but we're going to have to work on his behavior before we can send him outside the gates. He likes to get in fights a lot." The guy has a weird two-toned undercut and a long chin, a disgusting smirk upon his face. 

   "He looks like a horse," I inquire. Pixis sighs. 

   "That's... actually his nickname." And I can't help but bust out laughing at it. At him. Jean Kirstein, whom I know by that name and bad attitude will become my mortal enemy. Perhaps even more so than Levi, if that was even possible.

Pixis silences me with another file. "Krista Lenz. I'm worried about her, only because she has tons of potential with few results."

"Why?" I answer my own question only a few seconds later, though, because I see Krista's picture. She looks like something out of a stock image, a flower child. Her bright blonde hair and bright smile only lead me to one conclusion: she's a lover, not a fighter.

"She has strength beyond her years, but I worry that she doesn't know how to use it. She's deathly afraid of walkers and guns, and her only real talent at the moment is archery. But I assume we can fine-tune her."

"You mean brainwash her." Pixis gives me a dirty side eye. 

"Whatever works, Eren." And all of a sudden, I'm reminded of the fact that Erwin and Levi both hate him, and I understand why. He picks up the large stack of files, shoving them back in the desk. "Look, I might not have the numbers I need right now, but this is a matter of life and death. We can't afford to let anyone who has the potential to become great left untrained. Every single person in Mitras is here for a reason - that includes you, too. Don't let me down. I won't hesitate to do what I need to do." He smiles at me, standing from his chair. "But you know that, don't you?"

"Of course. I'll do what I need to do."

"Then we shouldn't have any problems. I'll get to working the itinerary with Erwin, but you need to rest up and get ready for training. I'll keep you going to Mina regularly so she can keep an eye on your... condition, just in case anything starts happening." He leads me to the large door, opening it. 

"It was nice talking to you, Commander," I say politely. He raises an eyebrow. 

"Oh, and Eren?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you for coming. I'm glad we have a chance at redemption now." And before I can respond, he shuts the door in my face, leaving me alone yet again - except this time, I'm not truly alone. I have this city behind me. 

(4/11/17)


End file.
